"Traders in the Dark"

For almost decade now, I don’t know what happened to my endearing “friends” who worked in a famous gay bar in QC.

When I left Manila, I used to have real and nice friends who considered to be “traders in the dark”.



Bakit tinawag naming trader in the dark? Kasi lumalabas daw ang kanilang alindog.. sa dilim.. he.he.he.he..(parang Manila by night!).

I don’t know what brought me closer to them. Siguro baka kasi minsan ko na rin sanag subukang maging isang Macho Dancer. That was the time I was hopeless to find a job after I migrate from the province to Manila. Almost half year kasi akong walang nahanap na trabaho, kaya inisip ko, ba’t di ako pumasok bilang MD eh mas enjoy siguro kasi ikaw na ang lalapitan, di ka na maghahanap?


Kaso traumatic ang nangyari sa akin….

When I finished college, I went to Manila to find a job, kaso ang hirap ng competition. Ilang companies na ang sinubukan ko, pero almost five months na wala akong mahanap. That was the time na halos sumuko na ako and decide to go back sa aming probinsya. I stayed in my auntie’s house in Holy Spirit sa Fairview. Dito ako pinakilala ng auntie ko sa isang gay couple who worked before sa isang gaybar. They’re in their 40’s na kasi at nangako sa aking ipapasok ako ng work. They always invited me sa kanilang house.. One time, I stayed overnight sa kanila at ang gabi na iyon ang pinakamasamang bangungot sa buhay ko.. I was totally helpless ng gawin akong sex slave ng dalawa. Doon ko naranasan ang matinding pagkaawa sa sarili ko. Walang oras na hindi ako ginamit ng dalawa….pinagpapasa-pasahan…. Ginawang sextoy.....

Itinago ko ang pangyayaring iyon sa auntie ko. For almost 1 week, I had on and off fever dahil sa sakit cause by their continued fucking to me. Ang sakit talaga….

Do I have to experience to be harassed by these damn old chauvinist gays just to get a job? Sabi nila madali ko lang daw i-trade ang sarili ko coz of my being fresh and has what it takes to earn more. Pero sa nangyari sa akin, I already saw a clear scenario sa maaring mangyari sa akin... I don’t want to loose respect neither pitied myself..

From then on, I told myself na hindi baleng bumalik na lang ako sa probinsya rather than allow myself to be abused.

Luckily, I met a guy and helped me find a good decent job… si Leo..

Well that’s my true to life story…

So after years of having a good job, nakilala ko si Mhar, a great friend who worked in one of the well known Gay bar in town. He invited me to go to their bar, and it was the first time I saw what’s inside the place where I once happened get a job.

Siguro dahil sa traumatic incident sa akin, instead of having some attraction with the awesomely georgeous MD, nagflash back sa akin ang lahat.. doon ko naramdaman na baka mas matindi pa ang hirap at pagtitiis ng mga ito sa akin sa kanilang trabaho. Ang matinding pagtanggap sa kung anong klaseng pag aalipusta ng ating lipunan sa kanila. Although ganon ang kanilang trabaho, they also deserve respect.. Na sa bawat pag sayaw nila ng hubad sa entablado at sa sigaw ng mga nanonood, matinding pagkaawa naman sa kanilang sarili pagpasok nila sa dressing room. Na sa bawat dampi ng kamay ng kanilang customer at sa bawat pagpayag nilang sumama at gamitin ang kanilang katawan, andoon yong pandidiring naramdaman nila sa kanilang sarili. Ang pag sigaw sigaw sa kanila ng kanilang manager na para bang mga aliping walang karapatang mag reklamo… Na pipilitin nilang maging submissive sa kanilang customers kahit ayaw nila.

Mhar gave me a chance to know them better, not for any sexual favor, but to be their friend….. At first, they treated me na parang walang pinagkaiba sa mga pumapasok sa Gaybar, but when I refused to accept their offer, yong iba basta na lang lumayo as if kuripot ako, walang pera, etc. but others were so kind and accommodating.

When the night ended, Mhar and I went along to the nearest food plaza for an early breakfast.. At doon sumama ang ibang dancers sa amin. I started giving give respect. Yon nga, respect begets respect…

Naging maganda ang treatment naming sa isa’t-isa. Everytime I had a chance to go to their bar, andoon yong paggalang at pagbibigay halaga sa pagkakaibigan namin. Andoon ako to make them feel na kahit ganoon ang trabaho nila sa loob, sa labas andoon yong pagpapakita ko ng concern.

Si Mark, dating That’s entertainment talent ay naging close ko. He even invited me to live with them (with his GRO girlfriend) at nagsama kami sa isang apartment. Masyadong magulo ang buhay ni Mark, especially sa family niya. Kaya ako ang naging best friend niya. I never took advantage sa kanya. We even slept in the same bed sometimes, pero hanggang doon lang. He cried several times sa akin dahil sa problema and I was there to comfort him. I even handle his finances.

Si Dave, despite of his being young and feeble-minded, naging close kami. Isa ring galing sa broken family. But despite of being frail, I’ve seen that he is determined to reach his goal. I encourage him to go back to school which he did. He tried in showbizness, pero sandali lang. Napansin kasi ang pagiging bisexual niya. He appeared in several movies and guested in a TV show. He had an intimate relation with a male sexy actor. We had slept together several times pero I refused to have sex with him.

Si JR… out of school youth.. humingi ng tulong sa akin para makapasok sa bar. At first I discourage them, pero dahil nga sa matinding pangangailangan, wala akong magawa kundi i-pasok siya bilang GRO sa club. How I wish I could have other alternatives, pero wala akong puwedeng i-bargain sa kanya. After several months, he met a Japanese girl and ended up in church before I left. Laking pasasalamat niya sa akin dahil na rin sa tulong ko at suporta, he is now happily married. Last time I know nasa Japan na siya.

But there is one guy I so important to me, but never give him the chance of showing how important he is to me…. Allan a.k.a. Lester… whom I will share to you next time….