Great Shots!

You wonder why the ocean is so salty.....

A blue whale produces over 400 gallons of sperm when it ejaculates;

* but only 10% of that actually makes it into his mate.

* So 360 gallons are spilled into the ocean every time one unloads.

Don't swallow the water!!!!!

Opposite attracts...

On the new episode of the X-files, Scully and Mulder get half their faces swapped.


A number of studies of the recent years had shown that when it comes to love, the old rule "opposites attract" may not be so true. Close examination of faces of thousands of couples has shown many similarities and common facial traits among spouses or lovers. People tend to subconsciously choose a partner that looks similar to him / her one way or another. So "similarities attract" may be a better rule, at least in the recent years. Furthermore, when people start living together they develop similar face characteristics together by naturally copying each other's facial emotions and expressions.
Which celebrities of opposite gender share enough facial characteristics to make a natural couple?


Source: freakingnews.com

Mis-quotes

if your father is a poor man, it is your fate but, if
your father-in-law is a poor man, it's your stupidity.
----------------------------------------------------
I was born intelligent - education ruined me.
-----------------------------------------------------
A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is
where train stops. On my desk, I have a work
station.... what more can I say..........
----------------------------------------------------
Practice makes perfect..... But nobody's
perfect......... so why practice?
---------------------------------------------------
If it's true that we are here to help others, then,
what exactly are the others here for?
----------------------------------------------------
Since light travels faster than sound, people appear
bright until you hear them speak.
----------------------------------------------------
How come "abbreviated" is such a long word ?
----------------------------------------------------
Money is not everything. There's Mastercard & Visa.
----------------------------------------------------
Save water. Shower with your girl/boy friend.
--------------------------------------------------
Love thy neighbour. But don't get caught.
---------------------------------------------------
Behind every successful man, there is a woman. And
behind every unsuccessful man, there are two.
--------------------------------------------------
Every man should marry. After all, happiness is not
the only thing in life.
----------------------------------------------------
The wise never marry. and when they marry they become otherwise.
-------------------------------------------------
Success is a relative term. It brings so many
relatives.
----------------------------------------------------
Never put off the work till tomorrow what you can put
off today.
---------------------------------------------------
Love is photogenic It needs darkness to develop
---------------------------------------------------
Children in backseats cause accidents. Accidents in
backseats cause children
----------------------------------------------------
"Your future depends on your dreams" So go to sleep
--------------------------------------------------
There should be a better way to start a day than
waking up every morning
---------------------------------------------------
"Hard work never killed anybody" But why take the risk !
----------------------------------------------------
"Work fascinates me" I can look at it for hours !
---------------------------------------------------
God made relatives; Thank God we can choose our
friends.
----------------------------------------------------
When two's company, three's the result !
---------------------------------------------------
A dress is like a barbed fence It protects the
premises without restricting the view
--------------------------------------------------
The more you learn, the more you know, The more you
know, the more you forget The more you forget, the
less you know So.. why learn.






Spending spree lands Saudi prince in court

The Saudi ambassador to Britain, Prince Mohammed bin Nawaf bin Abdul Aziz, has been ordered by a UK court to reimburse a personal assistant to the tune of $6.3 million for items bought on his behalf.

The court produced a 13-page list of items bought by Walid El Hage between 2004-2005 while working as an assistant to Bin Nawaf, who was ambassador to Italy at the time. El Hage claims to have picked up bills from the prince’s trips to Rome, Vienna, Casablana and Paris, paying for hotels, cars and security guards.

The list also includes a Beretta pistol, plus a range of other weapons, a thermal night vision kit for a Hummer, ivory tusks, two karaoke machines and dozens of designer watches. A fleet of Yamaha Grizzly and Big Bear quad bikes was also listed, along with a fashion must-have Birkin bag, off-road rally car and Persian rugs.

According to the Guardian newspaper the prince was ordered to repay the money last month after he ignored court proceedings. However he has since issued a statement saying “we are currently in negotiations and we expect the matter to be settled amicably very shortly.”


Saudi considers revaluation

Saudi Arabia could consider revaluing the riyal with other Gulf oil producers, but has no plans to drop its peg to the sliding dollar to track a currency basket, a source familiar with Saudi currency policy said.

Any revaluation by the world's biggest oil exporter would be "very small" and designed to keep plans for Gulf monetary union alive.

The Saudi government could consider revaluing the currency, the source said. Until now, the kingdom has never said it would review the riyal's exchange rate, which the central bank has kept stable at 3.75 to the dollar since June 1986.


Saudi pledges $300mn to climate change research

Top world oil exporter Saudi Arabia will give $300 million for research into helping the environment by lowering emissions, its head of state King Abdullah said on Saturday.

The idea of funding research into ways to curb emissions while allowing the continued use of fossil fuels has been floated in forums ahead of the summit.

Technologies Never Stop Growing...

Watch with USB



New Nokia Mobile 888



Ipod with Tri-pod speakers



Ipod reads CD

Joke Time

Asawa" 1st year masaya.
After 5 years tanggalin ang A "sawa na".
After 10 years tanggalin ang S"awa na lang".
Sa susunod na taon tanggalin mong A "wa na!"

Home version of who wants to be a millionaire:
Husband: dear puede ka ba ngayon?
Wife: di puede pagod ako!
Husband: is that final?
Wife: FINAL!!!!
Husband: ok, can i phone a friend?!?

Pag Americano umutot: EXCUSE ME!
Pag British naman: PARDON ME!
Pag Espanol: EXCUSAR POR QUE UTUTAR!
Pag Pinoy: Di ako yun! Mamatay na ang umutot

Warning: Children playing outside the car can
cause accident... and...
Adults playing inside the car can cause CH ILDREN!!!!

Loveliness through the years

1950s -Iniirog kita.
1960s -Iniibig kita.
1970s -Minamahal kita.
1980s -I love you.
1990s -Tara sa kwarto.
2000s -Pwede na rito.

MRS: sa palagay mo, mahal, ilang taon na ako?
MR : kung titignan kita sa buhok 18 ka lang;
kung nakatalikod 16 lang, kung sa kutis 22 lang.
Bale total ay 56, sweetheart.

DUCK DICTIONARY

maliit na duck - "panduck"
tirahan ng maliit na duck - "Pandacan"
mataas na duck - "boonduck"
nagulat na duck - "nasinduck"
photogenic na duck - "kodak"
malaking duck sa Ilocos- "duck-il"
madaldal na duck- "dakdak"
pantakip sa bibig ng madaldal na duck- "duck tape"
manggagamot na duck- "ducktor"
musikero na duck- "conducktor"

PERFECT HEAVEN: Having American salary,
British home, German car, Chinese food, and Pinoy wife!

PERFECT HELL: Having Korean car, British wife,
German food, American home and Pinoy salary!

Mare 1: Naku mare, ang gaganda ng mga anak mo!
Mare 2: Talaga, mare! Hay naku kung asawa ko
lang ang inasahan ko hindi sana mangyayari yan!

NANAY: Bobo ka talaga! 1 to 10 lang di mo kayang bilangin?
ANAK: Mas bobo si tatay nay, kasi narinig ko minsan sabi, "tama na
inday, hanggang tatlo! lang k aya ko."

MISTER: ano ang pagkain natin?
MISIS: nasa mesa, bahala ka na pumili!
MISTER: isang pirasong tuyo? ano pagpipilian ko?
MISIS: pumili ka kung kakain ka o hindi!

sweethearts watchin' da sky...
GUY: ano ang horoscope mo?
GIRL: anong huruskup?
GUY: yung bang kapalaran mo, katulad ko, CANCER.
GIRL: ah, sa akin ALMURANAS!

DONYA: bilang bagong katulong, tandaan mo na ang
almusal dito ay alasais empuntu!
MAID: walang problema donya. kung tulog pa ako
sa oras na yun, mauna na kayong mag almusal!


SAYINGS TO LIVE BY:

1. birds of the same feathers, are the same birds
2. do not do unto others what you ! can't d o
3. an apple a day is not an apple at night
4. when the cat is away the mouse is alone
5. if others can do it, don't help
6. tell me who your friends are and i'll tell you mine
7. early to bed and early to rise makes you sleepy i n the afternoon
8. ang ilog na tahimik ay malalim, ang ilog na maingay may naglalaba
Posted by Joliber P. Mapiles at 8:58 AM 0 comments
Labels: Jokes
Monday, August 27, 2007
Bakit Nga ba nahihiya ang biik, ang kambing, at ang sisiw?
T: Bakit nahihiya ang biik?
S: Kasi, ang nanay niya, baboy.
T: Bakit nahihiya ang kambing?
S: Kasi, ang nanay niya, may balbas.
T: Bakit nahihiya ang sisiw?
S: Kasi, ang nanay niya, may itlog. Ang tatay niya, wala

T: Bakit hindi nahihiya ang langgam?
S: Kasi, ang mga magulang niya, sweet.
T: Bakit hindi nahihiya ang pagong?
S: Kasi, bata pa lang siya, may sarili nang bahay!
T: Bakit hindi nahihiya ang buwaya?
S: Kasi, makapal ang mukha niya.

T: Bakit hindi natatakot ang bangus?
S: Kasi, matinik siya.T: Bakit hindi natatakot ang tuko?
S: Kasi, ang kapit niya, malakas.T: Bakit hindi natatakot ang garapata?
S: Kasi, para siyang bangaw na nakatuntong sa kalabaw.

T: Bakit natatakot ang pusa?
S: Kasi, baka siya matinik.
T: Bakit natatakot ang lamok?
S: Kasi, baka maling tipo ng dugo ang maisalin sa kanya.
T: Bakit natatakot ang ahas?
S: Kasi, baka ang asawa niya eh ahasin.
T: Bakit natatakot ang kuwago?
S: Kasi, ang biyenan niya, masamang tumingin.T: Bakit natatakot ang sisiw?S: Kasi, baka magmana siya sa magulang niya...Chicken Joy na!

Ano ang saging na mataba? Saba
Ano ang sa ging na maliit? Senorita
Ano ang saging na sinusubo pati balat?
It begins with T.Esep-esep.
Sirit na? E'di Turon...

Young lady to the new parish priest:
LADY: Father, ang cute mo, bakit pumayag kang magpari?
PRIEST: Ayaw kasi pumayag ni mama na mag-MADRE ako!

SPANISH TEACHER: class, use PUERA in sentence.
PUPIL: mi maestros son bonhas (all the teachers are beautiful)
SPANISH TEACHER: oh, that's very flattering, but where's PUERA?
PUPIL: PUERA ka!

Gustong malaman ng magkaibigan kung may basketbolan sa langit.
Nagkasundo sila na kung sino ang unang mamatay ay babalik upang sabihinkung may basketbol sa langit.
Naunang namatay si Dado.
Isang gabi, may narinig na boses si Rodel na parang kay Dado.
"Ikaw ba 'yan, Dado?" usisa ni Rodel.
"Oo naman!" tugon ni Dado."Parang hindi totoo!" bulalas ni Rodel."
O, ano, meron bang basketbol sa langit?"
Sagot ni Dado, "May maganda at masama akong balita sa 'yo.Ang maganda, may basketbol doon.
Ang masama... kasali ka sa makakalaban namin bukas!"

Lito: Pare, ano ba ang kaibahan ng H2O sa CO2?
Pedro: Ano ka ba naman! Di mo ba alam 'yun?! Ang H2O ay water!At ang CO2... cold water.

Anak: Tatay, hindi ako makatulog, kasi, maraming lamok!
Tatay: Papatayin natin ang ilaw para hindi tayo makita. (Pagpatay sa ilaw, dumating ang mga alitaptap... )
Anak: Hala ka, Tatay, nagdala sila ng flashlight!

Dok: May taning na ang buhay mo.
Juan: Wala na bang pag-asa? Ano po ba ang dapat kong gawin?
Dok: Mag-asawa ka na lang ng pangit at bungangera.
Juan: Bakit, gagaling po ba ako ru'n?
Dok: Hindi, pero mas gugustuhin mo pang mamatay kesa mabuhay!

Google in your Mobile??

Search giant Google is planning to lay its hand on mobile phone market. For two years Google engineers have been working on a secret project designing Google Phone which will run on Google's Linux-based software, and will provide integration with other Google services - GMail, Google maps, Google search, etc. The so called GPhone is expected to be a strong rival to the Apple iPhone, and is scheduled for release later this year.

Here’s how Google Phone may look like.

Stephen King's ..Que Horror??

Famous horror novelist and story writer Stephen King celebrates his 60th birthday recently. Up to date, he has written over 200 stories including some of the best selling horror and fantasy novels. Several of his stories were made into the major movies, including The Shining, The Running Man, and The Green Mile.

Here are some suggested titles/book covers for his next novel…







Courtesy of freaking.news

YOU ARE IN SAUDI ARABIA IF:

1. You mistakenly read no. 6 as 7 and 5 as 0.
2. Stores have to close five times a day.
3. Gasoline is much cheaper than water/softdrinks.
4. Cigarettes are sold by pack, not by stick.
5. You can see men holding hands and beso-beso in public.
6. In Riyadh, you can tour Quiapo, Robinsons, SM, Gotesco at the same time in less than five minutes
7. You can transact business in the bank till midnight.
8. You hate riding a public transport bus.
9. You become resilient to the most terrible bad breath and body odor of your non-Filipino office mates.
10. You start writing from right to left.
11. You said A/C instead of Aircon and Washroom instead of Toilet
12. You can’t go out shirtless in public or wear shirt with a person’s face printed on it.
13. You know how to properly unwrapped shawarma
14. You don’t have to buy alarm clock when you live near a Mosque.
15. You don’t wear necklace, bracelet and earrings in public.

Pagkaing Pinoy

Bilang pagbibigay halaga sa pagdiriwang ng Linggo ng Wika, ang buong linggong pagbabahagi sa Blog na ito ay ang paggamit ng ating sariling Wika)

Mga putahe na matatagpuan sa isang restaurant malapit sa NAIA AIRPORT,

1. TAPSILOG - Tapa, Sinangag, Itlog

2. LONGSILOG - Longganisa, Sinangag, Itlog

3. HOTSILOG - Hotdog, Sinangag, Itlog

4. PORKSILOG - Pork, Sinangag, Itlog

5. CHICKSILOG - Chicken, Sinangag Itlog

6. AZUCARERA - Adobong Aso

7. LUGLOG - Lugaw, Itlog

8. PAKAPLOG - Pandesal, Kape, Itlog

9. KALOG - Kanin, Itlog

10. PAKALOG - Pandesal, Kanin, Itlog

11. MAALOG NA BETLOG - Maalat na Itlog, Pakbet, Itlog

12. BAHAW - Bakang Inihaw (akala ninyo kaning lamig
ano)

13. KALKAL - Kalderetang Kalabaw

14. HIMAS - Hipon Malasado

15. HIMAS SUSO - Hipon Malasado, Sugpo, Keso

16. HIMAS PEKPEK - Hipon Malasado, Kropek, Pinekpekan

17. PEKPEK MONG MALAKI - Kropek, Pinekpekan, Monggo,
Malasado, Laing, Kilawin

18. DILA - Dinuguan, Laing

19. DILAAN MO - Dinuguan, Laing, Dalandan, Molo

20. BOKA BOKA - Bopis, Kanin, Bokayo, Kape

21. BOKA BOKA MO PA - Bopis, Kanin, Bokayo, Kape,
Molong Pancit

22. KANTOT - Kanin, Tortang Talong

23. KANTOT PA - Kanin, Tortang Talong, Pancit

24. SIGE KANTOT PA - Sinigang na Pige, Kanin, Tortang
Talong, Pancit
25. SIGE KANTOT PA IBAON MO - Sinigang na Pige, Kanin,
Tortang Talong, Pancit - Take out

26. SIGE KANTOT PA HA - Sinigang na Pige, Kanin,
Tortang Talong, Pancit, Halo-halo

27. SIGE KANTOT PAIBAON MO PAPA - Sinigang na Pige,
Kanin, Tortang Talong, Pancit... Take out with Ketchup


28. PAKANTOT - Pandesal, Kanin, Tortang Talong

29. PAPAKANTOT - Papaitan, Kanin, Tortang Talong

30. PAPAKANTOT KA BA - Papaitan, Kanin, Tortang
Talong, Kapeng Barako

31. PAKANTOT SA YO - Pandesal, Kanin, Tortang Talong,
Saging + Yosi

32. PAKANTOT KA - Pandesal, Kanin, Tortang Talong,
Kape

33. PAKANTOT KA HABANG MATIGAS PA - Pandesal, Kanin,
Tortang Talong, Kape, Inihaw na Bangus, Maruya,
Tinola, Ginisang Aso, Pancit

34. SUBO - Sugpo, Bopis

35. SUBO MO - Sugpo, Bopis, Molo

36. SUBO MO PA - Sugpo, Bopis, Molo, Pancit

37. SUBO MO PA MAIGE - Sugpo, Bopis, Molo, Mais, Pige

38. SUBO MO TITE KO - Sugpo, Bopis, Tinola, Teryaki,
Kochinta

39. SUBO MO TITE KO BILIS - Sugpo, Bopis, Tinola
Teryaki, Kochinta, Bihon, Tawilis

40. SUBO MO TITE KO BILIS, HAYOP! - ...same as #39,
minura mo lang yung waiter kasi ang tagal ng order.


NOW, YOU BELIEVE, FILIPINO CUISINE MENUS CAN BE SO
APPETIZING, SERVE WITH SIZZLING LIBIDO... ENJOY YOUR
MEAL, BON APPETITI!!!

Pictures that play with your mind

Count the black dots!


How many legs does the elephant have?









Keep staring at the black dot. After a while the gray haze around it will appear to shrink.






See the baby?