Thanks for being such a good friend to me.
You've opened up my eyes to things I couldn't see.
I hope we last forever, you know.
So that everyday our love will grow.
You've been there, through thick and thin.
And now I can truly say I can call you a friend.
I hate to have to share you with others,
Like other friends, your sister, your brother, your mother.
Other people may have no clue
about the closeness between me and you.
But,all I want to say Is
Thank You!
It may be a dream i don't want to wake up whenever I go into a relationship...
I must admit, i have to wake up to the point where my dream has to disappear and perhaps, if only I can organize to stay in bed forever and carry on with it...indefinitely!
Feelings of love... No feelings of lust that separate us from the beast... We become the beast inside...
My mind screamed out "Make love to me"
My body screamed out "Make love to me"
He did more than that….
Without a word
Without a thought
He touched, licked, kissed, nibbled, and sucked on places that my body thought had lost feeling
Passion, Desire, Lust
He knew just what I wanted
From the top of my head to the tip of my toes
I shivered…
Cried out….
Then fainted!
The rush of sensation passed through my body
It made all the tiny hairs stand up on end
Just a touch and all of my feeling came back to me
From just his touch.
I fell asleep that night - peaceful
Only to awake the next morning and realize that he was already gone
Just a dream
I don't know; but when he comes back we shall start all over again
and again…
and again.
"don't believe in courtship. it's just a waste of time if i love a person, i'll tell her right away, but for you i'll make an exception... just love me now, and i'll court you forever!"
Never be afraid to fall in love. it may hurt a lot, it may give you aches and pains, but if you don't follow your heart, in the end you will cry even more for not giving love a chance.
"i'm sorry if you can't love me the way you loved the one before me, so i'll let you go to find him/her and hope someday you'll see that the one true love you're looking for was the one who set you free... "
Ain't it funny we're trying to catch the attention of the one we think we love? we hardly notice the one we're really looking for was just there. you don't notice them 'till they are in the arms of someone else...
The Internet is more than a cooperation of computers. It's a cooperation between people. And where people meet, even anonymously, it seems that Romance and Love will enter the equation as well.
If you're like me, you probably think falling in love over a modem is unusual and perhaps even rare. But, like me, you would be wrong. Perhaps the very nature of a web site devoted to chatting and webcams. I have been amazed at the number of people I've met through chatting, email, forums, some through personal ads.
I had many attempts to convey and express the longing for the one man who has touched the anatomy of my soul. A man I call Edi; a soul that reaches far beyond my own.
A thousand miles separate us only physically, yet, via email he has intertwined himself right into my inner blueprint. Only through the grace of God, will we ever meet.
We both know this and accept.
It's best to wait for the one you want than settle for the one available.
Best to wait for the one you love than one who's around.
Best to wait for the right one because life's too short to be wasted on just someone.
An African proverb states, "Before you get married, keep both eyes open, and after you marry, close one eye."
Before you get involved and make a commitment to someone, don't let lust, desperation, immaturity, ignorance, pressure from others or a low self-esteem make you blind to warning signs.
Keep your eyes open, and don't fool yourself that you can change someone or that what you see as faults aren't really that important.
Once you decide to commit to someone, over time, their flaws, vulnerabilities, pet peeves, and differences will become more obvious.
If you love your mate and want the relationship to grow and evolve, you've got to learn how to close one eye and not let every little thing bother you. You and your mate have many different expectations, emotional needs, values, dreams, weaknesses, and strengths. You are two unique individual children of God who have decided to share a life together.
Neither one of you are perfect, but are you perfect for each other? Do you bring out the best in each other?
Do you compliment and compromise with each other, or do you compete, compare and control?
What do you bring to the relationship?
Do you bring past relationships, past hurt, past mistrust, past pain? You can't take someone to the altar to alter them. You can't make someone love you or make someone stay.
Manipulation, control, jealousy, neediness, and selfishness are not the ingredients of a thriving, healthy, loving and lasting relationship.
Seeking status, ! sex, and security are the wrong reasons to be in a relationship.
What keeps a relationship strong?
- communication
- intimacy
- a sense of humor
- sharing household tasks
- some getaway time without business or children
- daily exchanges (a meal, shared activity, a hug, a call, a touch, a note)
- sharing common goals and interests
- giving each other space to grow without feeling insecure
- giving each other a sense of belonging and assurances of commitment
- asking God to be the center of your relationship.
***If these qualities are missing, the relationship will erode as resentment, withdrawal, abuse, neglect, dishonesty and pain replace the passion.
"A loving relationship is one in which the loved one is free to be himself; to laugh with me, but never at me; to cry with me, but never because of me; to love life, to love himself, to love being loved. Such a relationship is based upon freedom and can never grow in a jealous heart."
To the single folks out there, this is FOR US!
Single means you have the time to grow and be the person you want to be. Single gives you space to grow. Sometimes, it is harder to grow when you are too close to someone. Trees are planted far apart so they can spread their branches and become strong as they mature. Single means learning to live by yourself.
However, that is no more difficult than learning to live with somebody else.
Single means freedom.
You are free to spend a week's vacation on the beach, to take computer courses, to work late on an interesting project, to spend the day in bed with a good book or simply with a person who has read one.
Single means learning not to need a man/woman to make your life Meaningful but learning to live with a man/woman because you want to be with him/her.
Single means that sometimes you will wonder why you will bite your lip And feel wistful and wonder if marriage is better.
Ironically, yet quite happily, single is feeling good about being in Control of your life. It is liking and respecting who you are and why you are. Single is realizing that being married is not necessarily better, it Is merely different.
Single means that there could be something wonderful around the corner And you can take advantage of it. Being single means you are free to love again.
So why marry if you will you're good being single?
"Empire of Dollar is crashing"
Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez said on Monday the "empire of the dollar is crashing", a day after his country and anti-U.S. ally Iran advocated action over the weakening US currency during an OPEC summit here in Riyadh.
"Naturally, by the crash of the dollar, America's empire will crash," Chavez said.
However, the final statement of the oil cartel's Nov. 17-18 summit did not include any reference to the falling dollar, in an apparent victory for U.S.-allied moderates led by Saudi Arabia.
Saudi eyeing first revaluation in 21 years
Saudi Arabia may be reluctantly considering its first riyal revaluation since 1986 to address concern among Gulf Arab neighbours about the region's peg to the tumbling dollar.
Saudi Arabia might have started a study to change the riyal's exchange rate but it probably does not want to officially announce these studies to avoid creating concern in markets until a final decision is made.
At present, the exchange rate is 3.75SR/US$.
The most obvious place the issue of top and bottom surfaces is in the bedroom. Depending on how slutty you are, it could come up within hours or even minutes of meeting someone.
It's naturally frustrating when there is a lack of position compatibility. There are the classic notions of two bottoms knitting or two frustrated and horny tops aggressively trying to persuade each other to give in. In general, if there's one person who leans, he can be convinced to switch teams for a night or a lifetime. If both parties are stubborn, platonic sleepovers and unreturned phone calls ensue. In the bedroom, the toughest issue for both the top and the bottom is merely compatibility.
I have always thought of the bottom as the one with the most power in bed. After all, he controls access, and if you can't get in, nothing is going to happen. Tops seem easier to convince that sex is in the cards. A simple blowjob is often all it takes to get a top's ball rolling. That can work on a bottom, too, but I don't think it's nearly as effective. Then again, if you need to work that hard to convince someone who's already in your bed to have sex with you, your relationship probably has more problems than just deciding who's going to bottom for the evening.
Top and bottom shows up just as readily outside the bedroom as it does inside. It can take the form of control of the relationship in an emotional sense. Since there is often an economic divide between partners, a financial inequality can lead to top and bottom roles in the relationship. Ultimately what decides top and bottom are the interested parties themselves. Money, sex and emotions can help shape the course of a relationship, but the two people in the relationship tend to fall into the roles they are best suited for and most interested in.
Sometimes, the words of love never have to be spoken.
They have their own language that breaks barriers and goes beyond the limits of what we can imagine.
When we love someone so much, we become a part of that person.
And when he goes, that part of us goes with him, leaving a void of cold emptiness that fills out whole being.
Just like an empty shell, you will just be dragged by the waves and drift aimlessly in an endless sea of loneliness.
Life doesn't have to end on this tragedy.
For all the pain we experience come with a purpose.
The tears should wash away the sadness of the past and our long silent solitude should bring to life a new being.
We may lose someone we love.
But it doesn't mean we have lost love itself.
For as long as we have the capacity to give and sacrifice ourselves, there will always be hope for a fresh beginning.
Let us always remember that people who live today find love again but those who live in the shadows of the past find only the love that has already been lost forever.
When you break up with someone, it's hard to transition immediately into the friend phase. I once had a roommate who insisted that I befriend his soon-to-be ex-boyfriend because he genuinely wanted to be friends with the guy. He knew that wasn't possible right away, but if I kept the friendship alive there was a chance they could get back to being friends later on. The plan worked, and years later they are the best of friends again. Those two are the lucky ones, of course. Most people break up and then are left with two broken pieces instead of the whole piece they started with.
Ending a relationship on bad terms can be rough, depending on how invested the person is in your life. I think this is why so many gay men keep their relationships separate from their friends and family. So many gay relationships don't work out, so why get everyone involved? Once all your friends and family get into the act, you aren't just breaking up with one person, you are breaking up (in various degrees) with most of the people in his life. It's so much simpler when all you have to do is return a box of stuff the creep left in your apartment without having to awkwardly run into his mother at the local supermarket.
Sometimes seeing an ex-boyfriend is unavoidable. Dating someone who is a close friend of a close friend just opens you up to a world of hurt. One friend of mine dated the next-door neighbor of another friend and now it is weird for him to even be in their shared apartment building. I guess we all won't be getting together for Scrabble again anytime soon. When you date someone at work, the experience of running into an ex is magnified to a near breaking point: Just a trip to the bathroom or past the receptionist could lead you into another unwanted encounter. It's always great to date a
guy who lives in your neighborhood, until you break up and then run into him at the supermarket.
The worst of all ex situations is one in which you introduce someone into your social gene pool and then, after a breakup, they further embed themselves with your friends. It creates endless awkwardness when old friends have to choose between someone they have known a long time and a fun new person they know their old friend hates. Naturally, we expect people to side with their oldest and dearest friends in any dispute with an ex, but, as we all know, the gays have a bad habit of selling out their own in exchange for flattery, mere trinkets or even blowjobs at a sex club.
Like it or not, once you date someone for a while, they are in your life for the long haul. You may not still be romantically engaged by them, but once your lives have been woven together, it's difficult to pull apart that fabric. We create webs of relationship as we move through life, pulling in family, friends, lovers and co-workers. Along the way, we become very attached to some and just connected to others. With an ex, as much as you may want to see him fall off a cliff, disappear forever or never have existed in the first place, the fact remains that you brought him into your own world. It isn't so easy to reverse the process, so you might as well live as cheerfully as you can with the result.
FOREPLAY
When you break up with someone, it's hard to transition immediately into the friend phase. I once had a roommate who insisted that I befriend his soon-to-be ex-boyfriend because he genuinely wanted to be friends with the guy. He knew that wasn't possible right away, but if I kept the friendship alive there was a chance they could get back to being friends later on. The plan worked, and years later they are the best of friends again. Those two are the lucky ones, of course. Most people break up and then are left with two broken pieces instead of the whole piece they started with.
Ending a relationship on bad terms can be rough, depending on how invested the person is in your life. I think this is why so many gay men keep their relationships separate from their friends and family. So many gay relationships don't work out, so why get everyone involved? Once all your friends and family get into the act, you aren't just breaking up with one person, you are breaking up (in various degrees) with most of the people in his life. It's so much simpler when all you have to do is return a box of stuff the creep left in your apartment without having to awkwardly run into his
mother at the local supermarket.
Sometimes seeing an ex-boyfriend is unavoidable. Dating someone who is a close friend of a close friend just opens you up to a world of hurt. One friend of mine dated the next-door neighbor of another friend and now it is weird for him to even be in their shared apartment building. I guess we all won't be getting together for Scrabble again anytime soon. When you date someone at work, the experience of running into an ex is magnified to a near breaking point: Just a trip to the bathroom or past the receptionist could lead you into another unwanted encounter. It's always great to date a
guy who lives in your neighborhood, until you break up and then run into him at the supermarket.
The worst of all ex situations is one in which you introduce someone into your social gene pool and then, after a breakup, they further embed themselves with your friends. It creates endless awkwardness when old friends have to choose between someone they have known a long time and a fun new person they know their old friend hates. Naturally, we expect people to side with their oldest and dearest friends in any dispute with an ex, but, as we all know, the gays have a bad habit of selling out their own in exchange for flattery, mere trinkets or even blowjobs at a sex club.
Like it or not, once you date someone for a while, they are in your life for the long haul. You may not still be romantically engaged by them, but once your lives have been woven together, it's difficult to pull apart that fabric. We create webs of relationship as we move through life, pulling in family, friends, lovers and co-workers. Along the way, we become very attached to some and just connected to others. With an ex, as much as you may want to see him fall off a cliff, disappear forever or never have existed in the first place, the fact remains that you brought him into your own world. It isn't so easy to reverse the process, so you might as well live as cheerfully as you can with the result.
On Oct.29, the Guangzhou Daily carried an article which said that a mother whose child was a homosexual had disclosed her identification and publicly supported her son in front of the media. After the article was published, hundreds of websites have reprinted it. A heated online debate has been going on as to whether the mother has done something right. Some people support her action and some criticize it. The brave mother's blog website has been frequently clicked by people and the clicking volume has increased from the previous 120,000 times to the present 300.000 times in just a few days.
People call those who disclose their homosexual identities as "coming out of the closet." Eight years ago, Zheng Yuantao, a homosexual in Guangzhou, disclosed his homosexual identity to his mother. He thus became the first person in Guangzhou to do so. When learning about this, Zheng's mother, Wu Youjian, didn't blame her son. She accepted the fact calmly. With careful thought, she finally decided to give her support to her son publicly. Wu thus became the first mother in China to openly support her homosexual child.
Wu is already 50 years old now. Six months ago she started to learn computer and established her own blog on the Internet. In just half a year, her blog had been clicked more than 100,000 times. Many homosexuals praised Wu for her courage and lenience. Some homosexual people even call her “mother”
After the Guangzhou Daily published the article, a website launched a survey to see how people viewed the issue. By yesterday, about 3,977 people had responded to the survey. The result shows that 61.1% of the people show their understanding of this social phenomenon. 26.1% of the people say they neither support nor oppose homosexuality. 6.94% say they feel disgusted with it.
When asked what they think about the mother's behavior, 80.19% of the people say the mother's behavior deserves respect. However, there are 4.17% of the people who say they can't understand the mother.
If their own children happen to be a homosexual, what will they do? To this question 71.01% of the respondents say they will accept the fact and will try to understand their children, 16.07% of the people wish that such thing will never happen to them, and there are 9.93% of the people who say they will never forgive their children and they will do their best to help their children to live a ”normal” life.
from Chinanews.com
You were my angel
in the night
In the darkness
you were light.
Through all the hatred
you were love
And when I fell
you picked me up.
When I was young
you brought me in
You let my childhood
start again
You made the danger disappear
Along with everything I feared. 
Well, now I'm old
Living in a broken world
And I watch my hopes and dreams
Ripping apart at the seams
So all I want to know
is how you could just go
and leave me down
Why did God take you away?
Why did He have to cloud my days?
Today is my Dad's death anniversary...
My dad passed away 3 years ago… Stunned, I flew home from Riyadh to be with my family. (The flight from Riyadh to Manila was the longest 9 hours I have ever experienced in my life.)
While on board, I repeatedly asked myself if I had thanked everything to my Dad for giving me a wonderful life. Did I miss something? I couldn’t control my tears as I remembered the many kindness and favors he had given to us…Without his love, I may not be what I am today.
Yes, still, I had much to be thankful to him which I had remembered lately.
Did I ever say thanks for all the toys my father had mended? The games we played and the way he always tried to cheer me when I was down?
Did I ever say thanks for the sacrifices he made so I could be involved in so many enriching activities in school?
Did I ever thank him for working so hard to provide for our family?
Did I ever thank him for having such faith in me and always being there when I needed him?
Did I ever say thanks for waking me up every Sunday so we can go to the church together with mom, and my other siblings?
Most of all, Did I ever say thanks for caring? 
Dad….I just wanted to thank you so much for the great childhood you and mom gave me. I often want to be a child again so that I can feel the love, warmth, joy and security you always gave me.
Although money was very hard to come by while we were growing up, I never felt deprived of anything. Your love has given me more wealth than money could ever buy.
I will never forget the time you held me in your arms when I was scorched because I accidentally spilled out a bottle of ethyl alcohol to my body while you’re lighting the Coleman Kerosene Lantern.. I was 3 years old then..
I will never forget your tears of joy when I asked you and my mom to pin my academic medals every year in our school.
I will never forget you adjusting my tie and let me borrow your perfume during my first JS Prom.
I will never forget waving goodbye to you when I left the province to find my luck in Manila. Not knowing if I would succeed. In my mind I still see the slow motion image of you with your arm around mom waving goodbye to me as I boarded the bus.
Thank you dad for giving me the best childhood a person could ever hope for.
If you want your Dad to know how you feel. Don’t wait. Tell them today because tomorrow might be too late
I know it’s hard to write about the people that we love, especially the ones that are no longer with us. My grandmother has passed away last Thursday and I’m sure she is looking down from heaven right now, saying ‘don’t worry my grandson, I’m fine with the Lord.’
I grew up with the blessings of my grandmother’s love.
I was not sure if I should share to the world on the topic of my beloved Grandmother. She was great and what I a today, is because I learned so much from her.
Sabi nila, takbuhan ng mga bata ang kanilang lola kung may tampo sila sa kanyang mga magulang… sa mga lola din sila naghahanap ng kakampi kung napapagalitan ang mga ito.
Madalas mangyari ang maagang pag-aasawa o ang pagtatanan ng isang anak ang siyang nagiging dahilan ng samaan ng loob sa pamilya, lalong-lalo na ang relasyon ng ina sa kanyang anak. Minsan humahantong sa matinding away at sumpang nabibitawan. Ilang beses na ba nating narinig ang kuwento at nakikita ang mga pangyayari na lumalambot ang puso ng isang ina kapag nasilayan na niya ang kanyang apo. Sa bandang huli, mas higit pa ang nararamdamang saya ng pagiging lola ng isang ina sa kanilang tahanan.
She told me that I was one of her treasures. I am her first boy grand-child, but she had a way of making us all feel like we were loved the most.
Naranasan ko ang pag-aalaga niya. Tingin ko, parang napapantay na siya ang pagmamahal ng aking ina..o mas sobra pa...
That was security to me.
Sa tuwing mapapagalitan ako ng aking mga magulang, sa kanya ako tumatakbo para humingi ng saklolo… para maghanap ng kakampi… magsumbong at hingin na pagalitan ang aking ina dahil sa pagpalo ng walis tingting sa akin…
Sa kanya ako humihingi ng pera pag kulang ang baon ko..
Pag hindi ko gusto ang pagkain sa bahay, doon ako sa kanya kakain at nagpapalipas ng oras na ikinakagalit naman lagi ng ina ko …
Sa madaling salita, spoiled-brat ako sa kanya.
Kahit minsan may pagka-salbahe ako noong bata pa ako,pero hindi ko naranasan na pinagbuhatan niya ako ng kamay o saktan ako..
I usually sat on her lap and I liked the way she lay a hand on my hair that made me feel sleep comfortably..
Lumaki akong mapalad sa pagmamahal ng aking ina at ng aking lola…kaya naman mas gugustuhin ko pang gugulin ang oras ko sa kanila kaysa sa iba..
Lahat ng gawaing bahay nila ay kasali ako lagi.. sa pagluluto… sa pagtatahi ng butas ng damit... sa paglilinis ng bahay... at kung anu-ano pa. (Siguro nga ganito ako, dahil sa impluwensya nila at wala akong pinagsisisihan, bagkus labis ang pasasalamat ko sa kanila)
“Kailangan mong matuto ng mga gawaing bahay dahil kailangan mo iyan kung sakaling nag-iisa ka”… ito ang salitang laging sinasabi ng Lola ko habang minamasdan ko siyang nag luluto…
Totoo, sa nakaraan ko at sa kasalukuyan, utang ko sa kanila ang mabuhay ng mag-isa at walang inaasahang iba pagdating sa gawaing bahay. Naipagmamalaki ko ang aking natutunan sa pagluluto, paglilinis atbp sa mga kasamahan ko ditto sa ibang bansa.. na kung hindi dahil sa ina’t lola ko, malamang umaasa ako sa iba.
Dahil sa layo ng trabaho ko simula ng magtapos ako ng kolehiyo at hanggang ngayong na ako’y nasa ibang bansa, madalang ko nang nakikita ang lola ko sa probinsya.
Minsan umuwi ako sa amin, pinasyalan ko siya.. Dahil sa katandaan nagkaroon siya ng Alzemier’s disease. Bihira na siyang makapagsalita at hindi na niya matandaan kung sino ang mga tao sa paligid niya.
Pero ng bumisita ako sa kanya, wala akong narinig sa salita sa kanya, pero nababasa ko sa mata niya na ang gusto niyang sabihin..”Apo ko, miss na kita.... bakit ngayon ka lang?... Nakita ko ang luhang tumulo sa kanyang mga nangungusap na mga mata sa akin..alam ko, gusto niyang magsalita at igalaw ang kanyang mga kamay para yakapin ako...gusto niyang muling humiga ako sa kanyang mga hita at haplusin ako sa ulo gaya ng ginagawa niya sa akin noong bata pa ako...”
Hindi ko namalayan, nag umpisa na ring tumulo ang luha ko.. “Lola, sorry ha.. ngayon lang kita nadalaw...”.. Niyakap ko siya ng mahigpit at sa tibok ng kanyang puso, ramdam ko ang kasiyahan niya ng makita ako...
Alam ko kahit hindi niya ako narinig at naaala-ala, sa puso niya, nakikilala at alam niya na ako ang nasa harap niya...
Pagkalipas ng ilang araw, bago ako umalis ng Pilipinas, dumaan ako sa kanya at tila ang paghalik ko sa kamay niya para magpaalam ay nagsasabing “Apo, nasa iyo ang panalangin ko at bendisyon na gagagabayan ka ng Panginoon. Ito na marahil ang huli nating pagkikita, pero makakaasa ka na babantayan kita lagi”...
Iyon ang ibig niyang ipahiwatig sa akin at alam ko naman na anumang oras ay maari na niya kaming iwan dahil sa sobra-sobra na ang oras na inibigay ng Panginoon sa amin para pakapiling siya.
Sa edad na siyamnapu, ang dami na niyang ginawa para sa kanyang pamilya, dumami na ang angkan namin at halos hindi na niya maalala kung ilan ang apo niya at mga apo sa tuhod. Kaya alam ko sa pagpanaw niya kahapon, masaya siya dahil tumagal ang buhay niya kapiling ang kanyang pamilya...
Hindi ko man masilayan sa huling pagkakataon ang kanyang mga labi, alam ko, gaya ng dati, mauunawaan niya ang kalagayan ko...
She was such blessings to me. I wish every child could have love like that.
To Lola Sela....may you rest in peace!
"Your courage is matched by your compassion. Hence, you urge to rescue someone or to make a sacrifice you would never make for yourself.."
Remembering "A.R.A.III".
Ang lungkot pag gising mo sa umaga, sya yong maiisip mo at hinahanap… hinahanap dahil wala sya sa tabi mo… wala siya dahil hindi na siya sa iyo….
Dati, isang ngiti ang bubungad sa iyong pagdilat… ngiti na siyang magbibigay sigla sa buo mong maghapon.. “Hon, gising na! baka ma-late ka sa work mo..”
Dahil sa ngiti nya’t haplos sa mukha mo, nararamdaman mo hindi ka nag-iisa…
may kasama kang sasalubong sa umaga…masama man ang panahon…bumagyo man…ma-traffic ka man sa EDSA, balewala sa iyo lahat…
kahit bumiyahe ka man ng malayo, tiyak may papawi sa pagod at hirap mo pag-uwi mo ng bahay…
Andoon siya naghihintay… “Hon, kumain ka na? mukhang loaded ang araw mo… halika nakahain na pagkain, kain na tayo”…
Ganoon ang buhay mo.. nararamdaman mo may nagmamahal sa iyo… may nag-aalaga sa iyo..kaya umikot man ng mabilis ang mundo at biglang tumigil, hindi ka matutumba dahil magkahawak kayo ng mahigpit…alam mo, hindi ka niya bibitawan… hindi ka niya pababayaan…….at ganon ka rin sa kanya…
“You and me against the world”.. yon ang palagi mong sinasabi sa kanya.. hatulan man kayo ng tao sa relasyon niyo… kutyain man kayo ng mga mapanuring mga mata sa iyong paligid… pandirihan man kayo ng mga moralista, lahat kaya niyong tanggapin sa ngalan ng pag-ibig.
Sabi ng iba, baliw ang pag-iibigan niyo… maling-mali sa mata ng tao.. pero binigyan niyo ng laya ang inyong mga damdamin.. nagmahal kayo.. Tama lang iyon....
Pero sa kabila ng lahat, may takot pa ring nakatago sa iyong damdamin..
Takot na baka tama nga sila, na hindi tatagal ang inyong relasyon..na walang nabubuhay sa bawal na pagmamahalan...
Dati, ang akala mo pag nasa iyo na yong taong mahal mo, masaya ka na…
Ngunit hindi lang pala iyon ang kailangan mo…kailangan din palang mabuhay sa tama… magpakawala ng bagay na mahalaga sa iyo kahit masasaktan ka.. 
“I don’t want to lose you, but you have to go…”
pinipilit mong kalasin ang higpit ng yakap niya… pinunasan mo ang luhang dumaloy sa kanyang mga mata… sa huling pagkakataon, niyakap mo siya ng mahigpit dahil ito na ang huli mong makita siya ng malapitan….
Sinamantala mo ang pagkakataong dumikit ang inyong mga labi.. kahit tumutulong sabay ang mga luha niyo..nagmamakaawa siya …. walang patid ang iyong paghaplos sa mukha niya…
Pilit mo na siyang nilalayo sa iyo… nilalabanan niya ang lakas ng iyong pagpupumiglas sa mahigpit na hawak niya sa iyo…
Ngunit talagang desidido ka na sa iyong pasiya... Kailangan na siyang lumayo sa iyo at ganoon ka rin….. tapusin na ang lahat sa inyong dalawa dahil hindi na tama..
Kung gaano kabagal ang hakbang niya papalayo sa iyo habang nagmamakaawa, ay mabilis naman ang takbo mo papalayo sa kanya habang dumadaloy ang luha sa mata mo dahil baka hindi mo makayanan at biglang magbago ka pa ng desisyon…
Unti-unting humihina ang naririnig mong pagmamakaawa niya dahil sa patuloy mong paglayo…hanggang sa mawala na ito ng tuluyan sa iyong pandinig…tanging ang mga daghoy mo na lang ang iyong naririnig…
Pinunasan mo ang luha sa iyong mukha..
Tama lang dahil kung hindi mo kayang mawala siya, habang buhay mong dadalhin sa iyong konsensya ang pagwasak mo sa isang pamilya… sa kanya, sa asawa niya at sa mga anak niya….
Salungat pala….
Yong pansamantalang sakit na iyong mararamdaman ay ang panghabang buhay na saya … ang makita ang mahal mo na tinatahak ang tamang landas…ang gamutin ang sariwang sugat ng iba dulot ng iyong maling pagmamahalan….
Kaya sa pagmulat mo ng iyong mga mata sa iyong pag-gising sa umaga, tanging magagandang alaala na lang niya ang bubungad sa iyo para muling maging masigla ang araw mo……
August 14, 2007 ....4:42 AM Ginising ako ng tunog galing sa aking CP “Minamasdan kita ng hindi mo alam..Pinapangarap na ikaw ay akin....”
“1 New Message”
“Musta na, ano na blta, wla na gimik noh, lge nlang trbho. Labas nman tau minsan kung ok lang sau.”
Galing kay Mhel ang unexpected text.. 
February 2007.. Birthday ng friend ko…Niyaya niya ako at isama ko daw ang Habibi ko..
“Pasensya na friend, hindi puwede ko siyang isama… alam mo naman ang sitwasyon namin..”.
Actually kahit anong pilit nila na ilantad ko ang habibi ko sa public, talagang hindi puwede dahil ayaw niyang mabuko ang pagkatao niya lalo na sa circle of friends namin. Malihim kasi siya… ayaw niya na pag usapan at pag piyestahan ang relasyon namin kaya hanggang ngayon kahit bestfriend ko, hindi nila alam na may relasyon kami …Kilala kasi niya…Sa akin, okey lang ang ganitong arrangement.. saka hindi naman siya maramot sa akin..love niya ko… love ko rin siya.. (parang Mcdo he.he.he.he.)..inisip ko rin na mabuti na yon kaysa may magkagusto pa at malaman na habibi ko siya, mahirap na..makamandag pa naman ngayon ang mga rattlesnakes sa disyerto. And mind you, pag nalaman nila, naku, malakinggulo at maraming magkakandarapa sa kanya.. Habulin ata siya!
“Basta punta ka! Me ipapakilala ako sa sa’yo.”
Sounds good! Sarap maging single for a night!
Maaga akong pumunta sa kanila para tulungan siya sa pagluluto. Andoon na yong iba naming friends.
“Friend, mamaya pa labas ng ipapakilala ko sa’yo.. panggabi kasi duty niya”
Ok lang sa akin, at least , may time pa akong maki jamming sa barkada namin.. 
Dabarkads sa Riyadh
Past midnight na ng dumating si Art, ang Habibi ng friend ko at may kasama niya.
“O ayan friend.. si Mhel.. katrabaho ni Art, siya yong sinasabi ko sa iyo.”
“Hi Mhel.. glad to meet you!”
Bata pa si Mhel. Siguro nasa early twenties. Moreno, slim ang katawan.. guwapo kung ngumiti at medyo tahimik..
Kumain muna sila at pagkatapos, sumali na rin sa amin..
Habang tumatagal at dahil na rin sa “agua de pataranta”, madaling tinablan si Mhel. Siguro dahil sa pagod..at ang sa una ay tahimik, naging komportable na sa usapan at lumabas ang tunay na pagiging kalog..
Inabot kami ng 5 ng umaga na panay kuwentuhan, kumustahan at may koting harutan.. Yong iba natulog na…
Naging kampante na rin ako sa kanya hanggang sa matulog kaming magkatabi..
Pag gising namin, tuksuhan ang inabot ko sa mga barkada ko….
Nagpalitan kami ng cp no. at simula noon madalas na kaming magtawagan at nagkita..gumigimik pag wala siyang pasok…
Alam ko I find him nice as a friend, pero hindi puwedeng lumagpas doon..besides, ayokong maging unfair sa Habibi ko at marami pa akong dahilan para iwasan siya…
“Hi! Ginising mo ko ha! Kmusta kn rin? oo nga, ala na tau gimik..How’s ur work? Hayaan mo f im free, ta2wagan kita. Ingat!
“Message Sent”
It is better yo be open than to hide it from others or deny to yourself. If you suppress it, your heart will try to trick your head..
1. How old were you when you lost your virginity? With whom?
12, but tried sex at 7. “Iggy”
2. Worst thing done while drunk?
stripped off sa beach
3. Have you slept with any blogger contact?
nope
4. Have you ever cheated when you were in a relationship?
Yup, 3 times
5. How far how you gone to check if your partner is cheating you?
Check his CP almost everyday.
6. Mancrush, 1 local and 1 foreign celebrity?
Local: John Lloyd Cruz
Foreign: Josh Hartnett
7. Last time you pleasured yourself?
15 minutes ago
8. How big is your wang (dick-size)?
5-6 in.
9. What's the 8th message on your inbox, and who sent it?
“I'm back..If you have time, call me, I ned 2 talk 2 u. Miss u"
10. Kissed in public?
YES
11. How many one-night stands did you have?
One..two..three..four..five... i can't count anymore!
12. Craziest place you've done it with?
Bus
13. Have you slept with anyone famous?
YES
14. Do you have a Sex tape out there? In YouTube? Or naked pictures?
Absolutely none!
15. Have you been in a threesome?
Yes, more than threesome!
16. Tried illegal drugs. What drugs?
Yes.. S
17. How many (if you can still count them) have you slept with?
I can’t count anymore
18. Dude we all know you’re gay, so just admit it.
Paolo Ballesteros & Josh Santana
19. Have you ever had an indecent proposal?
Yes
20. Actor you think has a big wang
Mon Confiado
21. When was the last time you watched or read a porn material?
While im answering these questions
22 What will be your pornstar name and what will be the title of your first porn movie?
I would be kknown as Jeff S.... The title "Sagad"
23. Worst TV show?
Daisy Siyete (GMA), Bakekang (GMA), Lovely Day (GMA)
24. Spit or Swallow?
It depends
25. Longest time when you were "doing it" with someone?
4 hours
26. Shortest time?
5 minutes
27. Last time you had sex with someone?
1 hour ago
28. What's your favorite sex position?
Dog style
29. What was your strangest dream?
I dreamed of spending a night with Rico Yan (pbwh) a night after his death
30. If you HAVE TO sleep with a blogger contact, who would that be
Khalel
Count yourself lucky. Look at what you have and be glad about it...
Most men have the firm conviction that their penis is too small. Many young boys were told that if they "played with their weinie, it would shrink". They may know better now, but the underlying conviction is still present.
Generally, men never get to see other guys with erections, other than in porno movies. Based on those over-sized bimbos, guys begin to think that they are inadequate. In fact, a recent survey in the U.S. found that men believe that the average size of an erect penis is 10 inches. Women believe it's 4 inches. That kinda tells you everything right there, doesn't it?
Anatomically, a normal penis is 3-5 inches non-erect; 5-7 inches fully erect. Generally penis size is proportionate to the rest of his body. The guy with the smallest non-erect penis will be only slightly smaller than the guy with the largest non-erect penis when they both have a full erection. The larger a penis is when it is flaccid, the less it will expand when erect. So don't be overly impressed by those whoppers in the showers.
Very occasionally, a male may be born with a congenital abnormality, micropenis, which, as an adult, may be increased by surgically inserting penile implants. This is a very rare condition whereby the erect penis is only 1 inch long.
Sex educators and therapists have difficulty convincing males that bigger is not better; what he has will work admirably when the time comes. In a heterosexual relationship, he must accept that the top 2/3 of the vagina has no nerve endings. You have to wonder why it is necessary to have a 12 inch penis when she can hardly feel it. For most women, most of the sensory pleasure is around the bottom 1/3 of the vagina, that is where the nerve endings are located. That's only the first 3 inches of the vagina, fellas, and you don't need a big, honking salami for that!
Combine that with the fact that most women reach orgasm, not by penis thrusting in the vagina but by clitoral stimulation, manual (petting) and oral genital stimulation. Don't need a penis at all to do that.
For many homosexual males, penis size is extremely important and for some, surgery is the only viable option. Luckily, Mother Nature has taken care of this as well, since studies have shown that gay men generally have larger penises than their heterosexual counterparts. 
There are not many like you...and not many who can be like you!
Penis Enlargement Methods (or so they say...)
VACUUM SUCTION DEVICE. Aka. PENIS PUMP
No "men's" magazine would be complete without at least one advertisement for a penis pump. They maintain you will get a huge erection and with repeated use, your penis will become bigger, harder, and thicker. The advertisement says,"The penis pump allows the caverns of your penis to expand, permitting blood to fill the caverns which causes the penis to grow and become erect."
There actually is a medically sound Vacuum Suction Device available by prescription that is an accepted treatment for males who are unable to attain and maintain an erection for satisfactory sex. It is not one of the cheesy ones you see in a magazine. With the device you will get a magnificent erection and by using the cock ring, you will be able to keep that erection for about 20 minutes.
But it is anatomically impossible to grow a larger penis, short of major surgery, there is nothing you can do to make it bigger. Hey, do you think you can grow longer arms, too?
PENIS ENHANCEMENT WITH WEIGHTS
I have read articles that claim that a male can lengthen his penis by using a thimble-shaped weight taped to his penis. They increase the weight every week. This claim has never been substantiated.
PENIS ENHANCEMENT WITH INJECTIONS OF COLLAGEN
Collagen is a gelatin like substance that may be injected into the penis to make it look fatter and longer. Other technicians use the patient's own body fat, suctioned out, centrifuged and injected into a male's penis. This fat or collagen may move about and make for a lumpy penis, and at best the procedure will have to be repeated every 6 months as the fat or collagen is absorbed into the body.
INCREASING THE WIDTH OF THE PENIS
There is a new sex aid which is placed along side the penis, like a splint. Made of semi-rigid silicone, it is held in place by rolling a condom over it. This makes the base fatter, some women like “girth”, and it makes the penis appear longer and wider. It may also help hold up a flagging erection, but that is not its intended function. Check with a good sex store in your area for a product called "Perfect Fit" from Doc Johnson.
SURGICAL PENIS ENLARGEMENT
About 50% of the penis is inside the body, so one of the two ligaments which suspend the penis is cut. This allows the penis to descend about 1 to 1.5 inches. Sounds simple but it is considered major surgery under general anaesthetic and takes about 1 hour. In Canada, it costs about $4000.00 plus taxes. Here is a simplified description of the surgery.
A triangular flap of skin is removed from the pubic hair area. This allows access to the root of the penis which is then dissected from the pubic bone. From the inside of his groin, that buried part of the penis is pushed down and sutured in place. Then the triangular flap of skin is sutured in place to cover the extension. When healing is complete, pubic hair will grow out of this flap on the shaft of his penis.
The patient stays in hospital for one day, off work for five days and absolutely no sex for at least three weeks. He will take medication to inhibit erections.
To reduce the chance of scar tissue contracting or the penis retreating upward, a special bandage that has weights incorporated in it must wrapped around the penis two weeks post operatively. The traction was continued and increased for 4-6 months.
Complications include infection, erectile dysfunction, (impotence) or depression. Average increase in penis length was 3.5 cm. (or just over an inch). 
Now that you have all this information, it is my hope that you will relax and enjoy your body, just as it is right now. Remember, this is your body and this is as good as it is gonna get, so relax and celebrate it.
Some habits are
harder to break than others.
Often, even if we do manage to stop
ourselves from doing something that isn’t so smart,
we end up taking on an alternative activity of dubious merit. 
Although I made good progress in a key area of life,
I can’t afford to rest on my laurels.
Already, I am slipping into a pattern I had hoped not to repeat.
With all problems, though, diagnosis is half the cure.
I can see what I need to fix.
Now all I have to do is fix it!
Only then I see exactly what’s wrong and I start to stand a good chance of making everything right.
My apology for protecting the identity of the person involved.
I rented a condo-type in QC after i decided to leave the house we rented with Mark and Allan. I lived alone, pero madalas bumibisita pa rin sa akin yong iba kong friends..Gimik pa rin dito, fling doon…
Because of being alone sa inuupahan ko, I found companionship with Gelo. Actually, kaibigan ko si Gelo..guapo… habulin ng kahit sino…
May asawa’t anak siya pero happy-go-lucky pa rin. Hilig makipag barkada kasi he was too young when he got married at tipong madalas silang mag away ng asawa niya kaya nag hahanap siya ng way para mabawasan ang problema niya
Naging madalas ang pasyal sa bahay ni Gelo… Hanggang sa napansin namin na may namamagitan na pala sa aming dalawa. Sa akin niya sinasabi lahat ng problema niya sa pamilya…. Kaya noong nagsimula ang aming relation, mas marami pang oras ang ginigugol niya sa akin kasya sa kanyang pamilya. Naging intimate ang aming pagsasama… Naging masaya pero may guilt akong nararamdaman. I don’t want to be a home-wreaker. Mahirap….
Na konsyensiya ako lalo na nang unti-unti kong napapansin ang paghakot ng kanyang mga damit sa bahay. Na shock lalo ako ng madalas niyang kasama ang kanyang 2 anak pag pumupunta sa bahay tuwing week-end. This was an eye-opener sa akin. Hindi dapat na magsama kami tapos hihiwalayan niya ang kanyang asawa, which he told me before na naghahanap lang siya ng pagkakataon para mangyari yon.
Gusto niya na magsama na kami… Hindi ko alam kasi not even in his dream na papatol daw siya sa kapwa niya lalaki….. ngayon lang daw nangyari ang lahat…..
Gusto kong umiwas, pero sadyang desidido na siya to live with me.
Sa tindi ng pangyayari, I decided to take the offer for me to work abroad.. Para na rin maiwasan ang anumang posibleng mangyari and at the same time para na rin sa future ko.….
Nagalit sa akin si Gelo nang sabihin ko na aalis muna ako for a while kasi may training ako for six months sa Canada. Di niya alam ang totoo, na I will be away for longer time and decide not to come back….Doon ko nakita ang kanyang pagkabigla… I saw how he control his tears to fall down.. Pero umaasa siya na babalik ako…
Bago ako umalis, nagpa-alam ako kina Allan… medyo naging casual ang aming pag uusap, pero deep inside, naiisip ko papano kung aalis ako? I will miss him…
Si Jhun (isa kong talent na pinasok sa Club), binigyan ako ng souvenir para daw di ko siya makalimutan. He thanked me kasi wala na rin siya sa Club at nakapag-asawa na ng Haponesa.
Naiyak ako pero naawa sa iba kung kaibigan dahil di ko alam kung kalian kami magkikitang muli.
Isa si Mark sa nakita ko how he feel sad na malamang aalis na ako. Isa kasi siya sa mga nakilala ko na binigyan ko ng pag aruga na hindi niya naranasan sa kanyang family (broken family siya). Ma mimiss daw niya lahat ng pagbibigay ko ng advises ko, yong pagtatanggol ko sa kanya pag inaapi siya.. yong pag-aawat ko sa kanilang mag-siyota pag nag-aaway sila… yong pag luluto ko ng sinigang na paborito niya.. yong pagtulog niya sa kuwarto na parang bata na kayakap ako… yong masasabihan niya ng sama ng loob at mga problema…at yong taong bilib sa kakayahan niya bilang isang performer.
I was driven by my guilt.... hindi kaya ng konsensya ko na makitang may madadamay sa maling relasyon... Mas pipiliin ko, kahit mahirap, ang lumayo kaysa sa dumating ang oras na pareho lang kaming labis na masasaktan..
email me privately and send your pictures to proud.pinoy@gmail.com
G-blog nominee for November 2007
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Filipino Blog nominee
I'm a proud blogger
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