TOP OR BOTTOM

The most obvious place the issue of top and bottom surfaces is in the bedroom. Depending on how slutty you are, it could come up within hours or even minutes of meeting someone.

It's naturally frustrating when there is a lack of position compatibility. There are the classic notions of two bottoms knitting or two frustrated and horny tops aggressively trying to persuade each other to give in. In general, if there's one person who leans, he can be convinced to switch teams for a night or a lifetime. If both parties are stubborn, platonic sleepovers and unreturned phone calls ensue. In the bedroom, the toughest issue for both the top and the bottom is merely compatibility.

I have always thought of the bottom as the one with the most power in bed. After all, he controls access, and if you can't get in, nothing is going to happen. Tops seem easier to convince that sex is in the cards. A simple blowjob is often all it takes to get a top's ball rolling. That can work on a bottom, too, but I don't think it's nearly as effective. Then again, if you need to work that hard to convince someone who's already in your bed to have sex with you, your relationship probably has more problems than just deciding who's going to bottom for the evening.

Top and bottom shows up just as readily outside the bedroom as it does inside. It can take the form of control of the relationship in an emotional sense. Since there is often an economic divide between partners, a financial inequality can lead to top and bottom roles in the relationship. Ultimately what decides top and bottom are the interested parties themselves. Money, sex and emotions can help shape the course of a relationship, but the two people in the relationship tend to fall into the roles they are best suited for and most interested in.