Joke Time #2

A couple placed an ad,"Have 4 sons, need advice on how to get a
daughter."
Response:
Yank: Keep trying!
Briton: Change doctor!
Aussie: Follow a special diet.
Indian: Practice Yoga!
Pinoy: LET ME TRY!

Population policies of countries:

China: Stop at 1 child.
Singapore: Stop at 2 children
Phil: STOP AT 4 A.M.!

Ano kadalasan ang sinasabi kapag nautot?

American: Excuse me.
British: Pardon me.
Pinoy: NOT ! ME!


Husband: "Parati na lang tayong nag-aaway!
Maghiwalay na lang tayo!"
Wife: "Sige, maghati tayo ng mga anak!"
Husband: "OK akin ang mga guwapo at maganda!"
Wife: "Sus! Pinili pa yung hindi kanya!"

Sa harap ng nursery window:

Friend: Pare, pag laki ng anak mo, am sure magaling mag-drive
Dad: Bakit, pare, malaki ba ang kamay?
Friend: Hindi, kasi kamukha siya ng driver ninyo!

Husband came home from church, suddenly lifted his wife and carried
her.

Wife: Why? Did the Pastor tell you to be romantic like this?
Husband: No! He told me to carry my cross!

Husband: "Ang iniiyakan ko lang naman eh bakit gumaganti ka ng kadyot habang ginagahasa ka ng tulisan?!"
Wife: "Hay naku, Honey ... SELF DEFENSE lang yung akin"

Friend: "Wow, pare, ganda ng shoes mo, ah!"
Husband: "Oo. Surprise gift ng kumare mo!"
Friend: "Surprise? bakit, anong occassion?"
Husband: "Wala, nakita ko na lang sa ilalim ng kama namin kagabi medyo
maluwang nga lang!"

Health Advisory: "Beer contains female hormones, and can turn men
into women. After 5 pints.... men become talkative, unreasonable, irritable, cry for nothing, and urinate while sitting !"

Little girl: "Mom, I just found out that the boy next door has a
penis like a peanut!"
Mommy: "Oh, you mean, it's small?"
Little girl: "No, it's SALTY"

Question: Who designed the female human body?
Answer: A Civil Engineer. who else would run a toxic waste pipeline thru a recreational area?!

Our brain is made up of 2 parts, the left and the right part. With
our politicians, the problem is that:
The LEFT has nothing RIGHT in it, and The RIGHT has nothing LEFT in it!

Sa hardin ng Paraiso ...
Adam: Lord, di ko na kaya ang tukso ng ahas sa akin!
Lord: Maging matatag ka, anak. Ano ba ang tukso sa iyo?
Adam: SUPOT! SUPOT!